If all we're focusing on are problems, how many REMARKABLE GIFTS are passing us by?

Have you ever missed recognizing the value in something/someone because you were so busy trying to solve the problem(s)?

The "c" on one, individual math paper overshadowed the 5 A's your daughter recently received on her last report card. The cookie crumbs your spouse accidentally dropped on the floor trumps the fact that they just finished folding 3 loads of laundry. Your staff member forgot to call a customer back yesterday, and you disregard the 6, client emails you received last week complimenting them on their attention to detail & great communication.

I've got a car that just accumulated 300,000 miles! Call me old-school, but I was disappointed when my 10 year old was the only person in our home that wanted to drive that last mile, see it click over to 300k, immediately stop along the roadside, and then sit and just STARE at the odometer. It wasn't a trip to Disney World...but pretty darn close.

That same, 300,000 mile, evening there was a light mist in the air. I reached for the switch and turned on the windshield wipers to get a clear visual of the path ahead. It was then that I realized the passenger side wiper had a small streak it was leaving on the bottom of the windshield with each passing swipe. Hard to believe, right?  I mean, really,  you'd think they'd make them last longer than 300,000 miles.  :)

I watched it for a moment, then created a plan in my head to purchase a replacement wiper blade later that week.

It wasn't until the next day that I realized something magnificent about that car. Every part of the motor, transmission, tires, and lights were working perfectly. The air conditioner, heater, seat adjustments, dashboard, and nearly every knob, dial and gauge (not all) were exact and accurate.

So why did I just keep staring at that ONE DANG WIPER BLADE?!?!?! 

The Strength's Perspective was a strategy I learned in graduate school​. To explain, by focusing on the positive aspects, or "gifts," in anyone or anything, it leaves the challenging and less attractive issues of the situation in the shadows. The "deficits" become unimportant and overridden.

Most of the time, a concentration on the more positive perspectives will result in a 2-fold benefit:  (1) It leaves only the beneficial attributes to be showcased, and (2), the problem may eliminate itself.

I'm not an advocate for throwing caution to the wind when things need to be fixed, but if I fertilize the healthy grass in my yard, eventually thick grass will take over ​the unwanted weeds​ and leave me with a lush golf course.

Now don't be too hard on yourself if you're realizing you're a "problem seeker." Most people are...and there are a variety of reasons WHY humans lean into fixing things by focusing on the weaknesses as opposed to the strengths. (Some of these will be discussed in a book in the very near future.)

But the primary reason we focus on problems is due to our DESIRE to SURVIVE.

Since the beginning of time, our primary goal has been pretty simple: STAY ALIVE. We do this, first and foremost, by eliminating the threat. We discover the threat, issue, challenge or problem and proceed to fix or eliminate it. We then live to see another day. This process worked really well when our lives were consistently threatened by a wolf, tiger, bear, famine or disease.

So, by only staring at the problem, we prevent ourselves from looking ahead and "outside" the existing situation. Our concentration is only in the immediate need.

Today, the threat of being eaten alive is reasonably rare, but our DESIRE  to eliminate ANY “threat” remains a high priority. 

If all we're focusing on are problems, how many REMARKABLE GIFTS are passing us by?

This morning, my internet browser is running a little slow (could be due to the 64 tabs I have open), but my word processor (what I’m writing on) is working perfectly. “So, Brian (I talk to myself in third person a lot), just write. You’re fine. The doors are locked. No wolves close by. You’re safe. Stay focused. And continue to concentrate on accomplishing, creating, and progressing...on the offense...where great things happen.”

What does all of this have to do with Lone Oak? Well, we work to stay on the offense, eliminate distraction, and keep you focused on the gifts, benefits and strengths you'll need to see a positive end result and a balanced, healthy life.

We help you focus on all the things that are going your way. In time, the weeds will get tired of trying to grow, and you'll be left with only the best.

Enjoy your week on the bright side...and above all, remain encouraged.

- Brian