Why do people do what they do?

For some, this may feel unsettling. For others, refreshing. 

My goal is simple: Answer the question I’ve been fascinated by for decades: Why do people do what they do?

Why sit in the front row—or the back?
Why speak up—or stay silent?
Why engage—or spectate?
Why get angry—or remain calm?

If I can understand that, I feel I can better help someone save a marriage, build wealth, find meaningful work, or earn a diploma. And in the end, helping people improve their quality of life during our short time here is deeply gratifying.

My time with youth basketball goes back to 1994. I was hired by the Hays, Kansas Rec Commission to officiate Saturday morning games.

One morning, midway through the second quarter, I saw a red-faced father storming onto the court toward me. His son’s team was losing badly. I stepped in front of him. I wasn’t overly concerned. He was three times my age and didn’t appear to have made physical fitness a priority. Eventually, he was escorted out.

Later, I kept asking myself: Why was he so upset?

Fast forward to today. I’m coaching a group of sixth grade hoopsters. They practice hard. Some put in extra time, while others, not so much. We’ll finish the season with more losses than wins.

So why coach a losing team?  Because in youth sports, points on a scoreboard don’t always measure the value of the experience.

What is a “loss,” really? Especially when you can’t control the strength of your competition, amount of practice time in each player's history, or maturity level in that moment. (Yes, some of our competitors have actually grown a mustache…my guys aren’t there yet.) 

At the youth level, wins and losses are often outside of our control.

So what is in our control?

Effort. Attitude. Improvement. Practice hours. Relationships. Humility. Sportsmanship. Quality repetitions.

Yes, we want to score more points. But more importantly, we want to build a desire to improve. When we lose on Saturday and the boys show up Sunday ready to listen, work, and get better — that feels like a win.

That’s the purpose of youth sports.

And it translates far beyond the court.

As an adult, would you hire someone who only shows up to work when everything is going their way? Of course not. You want people who can get back in the ring when the chips are down.

So what does this have to do with Lone Oak?

We’re not just focused on outcomes. We’re focused on people.

We help create better humans — at home and at work. We want your time with us to be intentional, meaningful, and growth-oriented. Results matter. But character, resilience, and focus matter more. These things will deliver appropriate results over time.

Because when you build the right habits, the scoreboard tends to take care of itself.

Remain encouraged,
Brian