Everyone wants to feel uniquely desired. And often, we chase that by trying to become something—or someone—we’re not.

Deep down, we know better.

They may look exactly the same…but looks can be deceiving.

• One runs through the field like he stole something. The other lies beside me in my office all day waiting for something to happen.
• One will crash through a brick wall to retrieve anything. The other watches with mild curiosity, wondering if he has time for a nap while you open the mailbox.
• One stares down the cat like a Navy SEAL on surveillance. The other patiently waits for her to finish eating…hoping she’ll leave a few bites behind.
• One snaps to attention with a pat on the head. The other requires such patience that I’m surprised my neighbors haven’t called animal control.

They were born just minutes apart…same mother, same father, both male. These two brothers may look nearly identical, but they couldn’t be more different.

Looks can be deceiving...

The other day, while responding to some social media messages, an ad popped up for a new fitness program. It caught my eye.

This guy looked unreal. Maybe 6% body fat (the average man carries 18–24%). He looked like he trained 23 hours a day, saving one hour to feast on spinach and rice cakes. His tanned, ten-pack was so ripped, I looked closer to confirm there was actually skin covering the muscle fibers.

The man and woman on the screen spoke with absolute confidence:

“Do this exercise, take this supplement, and you too will look EXACTLY like this.”

I stopped and laughed.

Do they think I’m a fool?

Surely they realize that 99.99% of the population could copy their lifestyle for three years and never look like that?

It wasn’t deceit…it was genetics. Add in decades of training, diet, spray tans, dehydration pills, airbrushing, and a pre-photoshoot weight lifting session, and you might come close.

They weren’t lying. But for most, it was unrealistic.

Still, people everywhere were taking the bait.

Why?
Desperation.

We’re desperate to feel more attractive, noticed and valuable...essentially...different.

Everyone wants to feel uniquely desired. And often, we chase that by trying to become something—or someone—we’re not.

Deep down, we know better.

No one else knows exactly how you need to look, move, sleep, work, or live. Yet we’re bombarded daily with:

• “The 12 secrets to building a better business.”
• “The top 5 ways to maximize to improve the way you look.”
• “Do this…and lose 20 pounds in 48 hours.”
• “Be the perfect husband by doing x, y, and z.”

The truth:
There isn’t a dog trainer alive who could make my two rascals act the same way.

They are who they are.
And that’s the beauty in it.

Watching them live fully alive as themselves—running, playing, existing—it’s freeing. They’re not trying to be the horse, the cow, or the chicken. They’re just being who they were created to be.

Sure, some training can "polish the edges"—but my goal isn’t to change their nature. It’s to help them be the best “them,” they can be.

You may never train the lawyer to love daycare, or the engineer to crave on-stage acting. 

And that’s okay.

From the beginning of time until the end…

AUTHENTICITY will build TRUST.
TRUST will build RELATIONSHIPS.
RELATIONSHIPS (with God and others) will build a MEANINGFUL LIFE.

You’ll never connect deeply with someone who wears a mask every time you meet.
The only relationships that really matter are those built in truth—with people who show up as they are, not as they pretend to be.

So take the time to rediscover the real you.
Be secure, and continue to improve, that person.
Find spaces where authenticity isn’t just welcomed—it’s celebrated.

Where you can speak freely, without judgment, manipulation, or fear.

And while you’re at it…
Let the world see your version of wild—or normal—or quiet—or bold.

Because one size never has… and never will… fit all.

Remain Encouraged,

Brian